This headline, for better or worse, has not yet made the news at our local paper. Today was the last day of the two-week long Ironman Triathlon, and like a true athlete, I did cross the proverbial triathlon finish line, even sailing past it by a few inches.
It actually took me less than the full two weeks allotted to finish (okay, I finished only hours before the deadline) the 112-mile bike-ride (okay, it was a recumbent, stationary bike and I got through my pile of fashion magazines, looking at the pretty pictures while clocking miles at a very low speed), the 2.4-mile swim (I admit, I did this over 7 different days, inconsecutively), and the 26.2-mile Marathon run (done over 8 different days, also inconsecutively). At the end of each day (if not in the middle or at the beginning), I also consumed squares of milk, dark and white chocolate, and recorded my consumption of these. (Those stats will be brought to you later…)
What I learned from this venture:
- You can do anything you set your mind to, as long as it involves chocolate.
- Never underestimate the power of a good fashion magazine to get you through the rough times.
- Never mix milk and dark chocolates when you are feeling guilty about the milk and are trying to “dilute” with dark, it’s such a letdown if all you really want is milk chocolate!
- Do mix chocolates of any sort with almonds, walnuts, bananas, yes or even honey, in order to dispel any guilt surrounding the consumption of chocolate.
- Don’t run unless you have good running shoes and a good bar of chocolate waiting for you at the end of the run.
- Don’t swim unless you are sure you have a bar of chocolate waiting for you at home.
- Don’t get on that bike unless you have brought Vogue, W, Elle or InStyle with you to the gym and have secured access to a bar of chocolate.
- Never try any athletic endeavor, unless you have a serious chocolate consumption plan in place.
- Also never try such an endeavor without the full support and consent of your spouse (who must also be eating chocolate with you as you go.)
- And lastly, never discuss these strategies with anyone who is a serious athlete or doesn’t like chocolate.
Okay, now I’ll tell you the real reason I did this, chocolate or not: I turned 40 during this triathlon, and I wanted to do it for myself (could I really do it?), as well as for three of the most important women in my life: my mom and her two sisters. I did it for their hearts, and mine.
As for the chocolate, it certainly helped me get to the “finish line.”
The stats are in: 12 squares of white, 33.5 squares of dark, and 56 squares of milk. No, make that 57, as I pop one more milk chocolate heart before the midnight finishing bell.